


Like Company

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Iron Man 3 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper and Natasha reunite after the incident with the Mandarin (ending of Iron Man 3 AU). Written for fuckyeahblackpepper's prompt "monster."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Company

Natasha Romanoff knew what exactly she was, and that was why she stayed away from people like Pepper. 

Pepper Potts had an unusual life, surely, having been dragged through all Tony Stark’s misadventures. But Pepper was, for the most part, a good person and a normal one. Natasha, on the other hand, was a machine and a monster. 

She knew that this would always be the case, no matter how much she repented for everything she had done in her past. She was on the good guys’ side now (if you could call it that), but she was still a black ops agent, and occasionally, her work involved killing people. She couldn’t imagine Pepper wanting to be close with someone who did that on a regular basis. Stark Industries didn’t make weapons anymore, but Natasha continued to take people’s lives, as she always had. Even if they were people SHIELD thought were bad, it was still killing. And that was the only thing Natasha was good for.

Pepper had a good, honest heart, and that was both what drew Natasha to Pepper, and what made her stay away. She couldn’t deny the pull she felt toward the other woman, but she made herself stay away. Pepper deserved better, and Natasha deserved no one. 

Natasha hadn’t seen or spoken with Pepper since the incident with Hammer, although she had checked up on her to make sure she was okay, after the attack on New York. That was all she would allow herself to do - make sure the other woman was alive, and try to protect her from afar, if she could. 

She hadn’t heard much about Pepper since the Mandarin incident, only that Pepper was alive. They had tried to remove the Extremis virus from her, but they only succeeded in making it manageable, enough that it wouldn’t kill her. That was all Natasha knew. She didn’t know the state of Tony and Pepper, or how Pepper was doing, and she supposed that wasn’t her business. She still found herself worrying, however. 

Finally, she paid a visit to Stark Tower, hoping Pepper would be there. She knew the Malibu house had been destroyed, so she imagined this was where Pepper would be, especially since she was CEO now. She came after hours, as a personal visit, and told the attendant out front to tell Pepper that Natalie Rushman had come to visit, and that Pepper would know her name. The attendant seemed skeptical, but did as Natasha asked. Soon, she was escorted to the top floor.

Pepper was alone on the balcony, and Natasha didn’t see a single sign of Tony. All of the suits were gone, and the only remnants of him were his other technology - mostly the holograms. 

"Ms. Rushman is here, Ms. Potts," JARVIS said, startling Natasha a little. Wherever Tony was, JARVIS was still here, at least. Pepper turned around, smiling faintly, and Natasha stepped forward to greet her.

"I didn’t expect you to come see me," she said, and Natasha could see the weariness in her face. She hadn’t expected Pepper to be okay after everything that had happened, but seeing how she was faring in person made her heart give a little twist. 

"We’ve both been…busy. But I wanted to catch up. If that’s okay with you, of course." Natasha didn’t want to intrude if Pepper had more important things to do, although she looked like she wasn’t busy at the moment. There was something about this woman that made her walls come down, even though it made her vulnerable, and her usual cool, collected mask tended to dissolve. 

"Of course it is. It’s nice to see someone who isn’t asking me to sign a paper." Pepper laughed weakly, and beckoned for Natasha to come sit on the sofa beside her. Natasha obliged, keeping at a polite distance. Part of her wanted to be closer, but she was fairly sure Pepper would have none of it. 

"I’ve missed you," Natasha admitted quietly, and Pepper looked touched, despite the stress and weariness in her face. 

"It’s been rough for you too, hasn’t it? With New York and everything," Pepper said, and Natasha felt a little guilty. She hadn’t come here to talk about her own problems; she had come here to make sure Pepper was okay, and to maybe help her feel a little better. 

"I’ve been managing," Natasha allowed. "At least it’s over now." She paused. "What about you? Have you been faring okay?" She knew it might be an invasive question, especially since they hadn’t talked in a while, but she let herself ask it anyway. 

Pepper hesitated. “Do you want the answer I tell everyone else, or the honest answer?”

"The honest answer." Natasha realized how hypocritical of her that was to ask, given her occupation, but if there was a person she was least likely to lie to, it was probably Pepper.

"I haven’t been doing well at all," Pepper admitted, looking to the side. "You know what happened to me, right?" Natasha nodded. "They tried to fix it, but then this still happens." She held up her hand, and Natasha watched it glow a soft orange. "I hate it." 

Natasha didn’t know what to say, or what to ask. The only person she was used to talking about problems like this with was Clint, and she and Clint hardly talked these days in the first place. They were both the type to keep their pain to themselves. 

"I don’t want to be like this, Natasha. I’m dangerous. I - I’m a monster." Pepper didn’t seem to be able to look Natasha in the eye, and she lowered her hand, the orange glow fading away. "I’m not like any of you, you know? I’m not the type. I don’t want to be able to do this. All it does is scare people. And I’m no hero." That resonated uncomfortably with Natasha’s own feelings, even though she didn’t have the same sort of power Pepper did. But she knew how it felt to be saddled with something that made her dangerous, something she didn’t necessarily want. It was a part of her now, of course, but sometimes she wished it had never happened to her. 

"If you’re a monster, so am I." It came out of Natasha’s mouth before she really thought about it, and she realized in retrospect that she wasn’t the greatest at comforting. A normal person probably would have said that Pepper was not a monster, that she was just as normal as anyone else. But then again, that wouldn’t necessarily be true. Pepper wasn’t normal, not anymore. Pepper watched her for a moment, surprised she had said that.

"What makes you a monster?" Pepper asked. Normally, Natasha would never answer a question like that, but this was Pepper, and she didn’t seem to be able to control her mouth when Pepper was around.

"Do you know what I am, Pepper? What I used to be?" 

"You’re a SHIELD agent, Natasha."

"And an assassin. A killer. I was trained and raised to kill people, Pepper. That’s what I am, and no matter what I do from now on, it made me a monster." Natasha decided she was even worse than comforting people than Clint was. At least he offered beer and crappy pizza, and a chance of forgetting about things. 

To her surprise, Pepper put a hand over hers, and Natasha froze, not having expected that. She had thought that that would turn Pepper away, make her scared of her. 

"But you’re making up for it. You’re on the good side now," Pepper said, and it was almost like there were questions in her voice:  _Are you really on the good side? Can I trust you?_

"I’m always going to be a monster, Pepper." Now Natasha was the one who couldn’t look Pepper in the eye, and she wondered how the hell she had even gotten to the point where Pepper was holding her hand, especially when she was talking about something like this. 

"You’re a good person, Natasha." Pepper was looking at her earnestly now.

"No, you’re the good person, and I’m the monster. That’s how this goes, doesn’t it?" Natasha said, embarrassed now. She had come here to comfort Pepper, and now it had all been turned around. She chastised herself internally; it was weak to rely on others to help deal with her issues when she should be strong enough to do it on her own. 

"Then I think we both think the same of each other. We think the other is a good person, and we’re the monster," Pepper said, her tone gentle now. Pepper was being too kind, and Natasha’s mind was screaming at her that she didn’t deserve anything like this. "But if someone else thinks you’re a good person, that counts for something, right?" 

"Not just some person. You." Natasha reddened a bit after saying that, and Pepper’s hand curled more closely around hers. "Your opinion matters a lot to me." When it came to talking about feelings, Natasha wasn’t sure she could say anything out loud that wouldn’t come out as stilted. 

After a moment, Pepper leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Natasha’s cheek, making her face flush a bright red. 

"Likewise for you," she said, saying nothing about the kiss, or what it meant. Natasha focused on the sensation of Pepper’s hand holding hers, letting it anchor her to reality. Pepper smiled at her, and Natasha found herself smiling back, faintly. 

"Let’s take this night to relax, all right? Just the two of us girls," Pepper said. "We’re in like company, after all." 

Two monsters, and arguably two good people. Like company indeed. 


End file.
